Show No Fear, Tell No Lies
by I'veLostMyPride
Summary: Alfred is fragile. Fragile to love, fragile towards emotions. He will crack at dislike, break at hate, and shatter into shards at pain. And right now, Alfred is shattering. Slow cracks spreading across his heart as he tries to endure the pain he was never able to handle. He was a fool to believe in love. Warning: Domestic Abuse and Cursing, Eventual RusAme
1. Chapter 1

Thought of this idea while listening to Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (It's also the song below).

 **Not for UsUk fans or people who do not like blood! There will be mentions of blood. Also, domestic violence is very serious and I'm not trying to make fun of that! It is something terrible and traumatic to victims and it is also very real. I'm not trying to make light of it or put it in a perspective where it is funny, because it is not. So, if you don't like any of that, please leave.**

There is an established friendship between Ivan and Alfred. They're like childhood friends who live next to each other because Ivan managed to move back to his hometown after leaving (His father's job required that he and his family move). Ivan is 24 and Alfred is 23. Ivan lives in the studio apartment to the right of Alfred's studio apartment (That Alfred shares with Arthur). Ivan works in his apartment (He is an online tutor and a customer service representative, which makes about 3500 every two weeks. However, his father has a successful job, so his father pays most of his rent and such.) Every so often, he hears yelling through the walls from the apartment to his left.

Warnings: Domestic violence, mentions of blood and fighting, UsUk, Eventual RusAme, England bashing, cursing (LOTS OF IT)

...00..00…

"Fedya!"

The young man turned at the nickname. "Huh? Who are you?...Wait, don't tell me, is that you, V-Vanya?"

Said man nodded enthusiastically. He had just moved back to his hometown, it was a considerably large place, but little had changed. What did change though, were the people.

Alfred, his childhood friend laughed and hugged him happily. "I thought I would never see you again, especially here! Oh man, I have so much to tell you. But first, what are you doing here?"

Ivan smiled gently and said, "I wanted to come back, but my father, he insisted that I finish my studies in the city. After college, I packed and looked for an apartment as soon as I could."

Alfred grinned before stuttering nervously, "I-I really um, missed you… but you kept your promise, you said you'd come back and you did!"

He opened his mouth to continue, but a yell cut him off.

"Oi! Alfred, you idiot, what are you doing? Come on, we're leaving."

A short, intimidating blonde stomped towards the pair. He harshly grabbed and pulled Alfred from Ivan's grasp, his green eyes narrowed at the tall man next to the honey blonde.

"Who's this?" He spat aggressively, not at all hiding his distaste for Ivan.

With a frown, Ivan answered the question coldly. "I am Ivan Braginsky, an old friend of Alfred's. You are?"

Baring his teeth at the tone, the man answered with a british accent. "Well Ivan, my name is Arthur, Arthur Kirkland. I am Alfred's boyfriend. Alfred is busy, he can't stay to talk with you."

The british man stalked away, his hand tightly gripping his boyfriend's arm. It would undoubtedly leave bruises.

...00..00…

They were next to each other. Alfred didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, it was probably bad. His neighbors were always out, they were always busy. Whether on a road trip or at a party, they were always out. But Ivan, Ivan said he stayed at home. And that was a bad thing. Because then Ivan would know, and he just couldn't know, if he did then everything, everything would go wrong.

...00..00…

"I can't believe you!"

"Iggy, I'm not doing any-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up goddammit! Why won't you ever shut the fuck up?!"

His eyebrows furrowed worriedly as he slowly stood up and crept over to the wall. Gently pressing his left ear to the wall, Ivan closed his eyes. A feeling of guilt rose up before he quickly shot it down with worry.

"Were you cheating on me!? With, with that Isaac guy!?"

"His name's Ivan and I'm not cheating Arthur! I would never!"

"You're lying. You're fucking lying!"

"Arthur, you're drunk. Please, just go to sleep."

"Fuck you!"

Ivan's eyes widened at the sound of shattering glass followed by a thump. And then there was silence.

And somehow, that as even worse than the noise.

...00...00...

 _I won't lie to you_

 _I know he's just not right for you_

"Where did you get this?"

Big fingers delicately wrap the bandage around a head.

"A...bar fight."

The honey blonde looks down at the floor, as if it were a work of art.

"A bar fight?"

Lavender eyes stare at the figure before him incredulously.

He scoffs and ties the bandage up. "Don't take it off, or it'll get infected."

Blue orbs shut tiredly and he nods. "Okay."

Ivan looks at him with worry and pain, pain that he can't do anything and he suspects something is going on behind those closed doors. But he won't, no he wouldn't dare lose his friendship with his suspicion.

"Alfred? Y-You know you can tell me anything alright? **Anything**."

The man averts his eyes as he nods once more. "Yeah."

One day.

 _And you can tell me if I'm off_

 _But I see it on your face_

 _When you say that he's the one that you want_

It's become a routine. Every few days, he comes in with bruises and cuts and excuses that don't work.

"I tripped."

"Ran into a pole."

"Another bar fight yeah."

And Ivan will take it, but not this time. No.

"He's hurting you isn't he? Tell me."

Alfred stutters and tries to deny it. "W-What, no he isn't."

But Ivan sees it. He sees through the lies and he can tell what Arthur has done. And he finds himself asking, why?

"Why do you stay?"

"Because I love him. Because he loves me."

 _And you're spending all your time_

 _In this wrong situation_

 _And anytime you want it to stop_

He wants it to stop. He does, really. And he could leave, but Alfred doesn't want to, because he promised he wouldn't leave Arthur like Francis left him. Francis left Arthur all alone and broken and Alfred promised that he wouldn't hurt Arthur, that he wouldn't break him any more than the french asshole did. No, he would stay to help Arthur and heal him, to love him; it was for love. Right?

 _I know I can treat you better than he can_

 _And any girl like you deserves a gentleman_

He never shows it, but Alfred is sensitive. And as Ivan sits on the floor, back against the wall, he muses about the times where Alfred shows vulnerability. Where he shows his sensitivity. And in a way, Alfred is fragile. Fragile to love, fragile towards emotions. He will crack at dislike, break at hate, and shatter into shards at pain. And right now, Alfred is shattering. Slow cracks spreading across his heart as he tries to endure the pain he was never able to handle.

 _Tell me why are we wasting time_

 _On all your wasted crying_

 _When you should be with me instead_

Why do you stay? Why would you ever stay?

Because I love him, even if it kills me.

Come, come with me. I'll protect you. You will accomplish nothing like this.

I know what I'm doing, I know what I'm sacrificing

You're sacrificing your dreams, you're losing your hope, you're **dying**.

 _I know I can treat you better_

 _Better than he can_

I care about you, he doesn't. Why would you do this, to yourself, to your family...to me. Why won't you leave? Is it because you care? ...You always cared too much. Why can't you ever be 'selfish'?

 _I'll stop time for you_

 _The second you say you'd like me too_

 _I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing_

 _Baby, just to wake up with you_

 _Would be everything I need and this could be so different_

 _Tell me what you want to do_

"Privet Fedya!"

Blue eyes widened in surprise and the honey blonde whirled around to face his friend.

"Oh! Vanya, hi! Um, what are you doing here?"

The violet eyed man smiled shyly as he pulled out a small box wrapped in vibrant paper. "Er, Merry Christmas?"

Alfred's eyes widened in shock once more and he stuttered nervously. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't get you any presents! Oh god, Vanya, I'm so sorry, I was just so busy and I completely forgot about Christmas!"

The man beside him giggled. "It is alright Fedya. Being with you is better than having a gift!"

Alfred didn't lie, he was busy trying to pay the rent. And he did forget about Christmas, but he neglected the fact that he was struggling because Arthur used all the money for drinking. Now that Ivan mentioned Christmas and even got him a present, he felt so ashamed of himself.

"Er. how can I make up to you?"

The Russian man smirked. "You can go out with me tonight. Meet me at seven."

He strode away before the american could respond and pumped his fist in the air once he was out of sight.

 _'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can_

 _And any girl like you deserves a gentleman_

"Vanya, why did you take me out to a place like this?"

"Because you deserve it!"

"Bu-But, everything's so expensive and elegant!"

"Fedya, you need this, trust me...And I'm paying!"

"What?!"

 _Tell me why are we wasting time_

 _On all your wasted crying_

 _When you should be with me instead_

 _I know I can treat you better_

 _Better than he can_

 _Better than he can_

"Get out! Get the fuck out of my sight you bitch!"

He's shoved out of the apartment and into the hallways. Bleeding and sobbing, he shyly knocks on Ivan's door.

"Iv-Ivan? Can you please open the door?"

The door swings open and he flinches as Ivan towers over him. He can't help it, even when he knows that Ivan would never hurt him. Flinching is almost instinctual.

Ivan sighs, his eyes filled with pain. "Oh Fedya… Come on."

He gently pulls Alfred in and locks the door behind him. As Alfred stripped to his boxers, he pulls out bandages and rubbing alcohol.

 _Give me a sign_

 _Take my hand, we'll be fine_

 _Promise I won't let you down_

 _Just know that you don't_

 _Have to do this alone_

 _Promise I'll never let you down_

"Ow."

"Sorry."

It's okay. As long as I'm not alone. I could never bear the pain if I was alone.

You'll be okay, you're not alone. I'll bear this pain with you. I promise I'll never let you down.

"...V-Vanya?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you promise, promise that you won't leave? Ever?"

"I promise."

 _'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can_

 _And any girl like you deserves a gentleman_

 _Tell me why are we wasting time_

 _On all your wasted crying_

 _When you should be with me instead_

 _I know I can treat you better_

 _Better than he can_

He stays the night in Ivan's apartment and the next day, he goes to work like nothing happened. But when he goes home, there's a feeling that tells him to avoid his apartment, to avoid heartbreak. He ignores that feeling. And he'll regret it for a while, when he finds Francis with Arthur entangled in a bed.

 _Better than he can_

 _Better than he can_

He'll regret it, but he'll move on. Because he was never alone, because he has Ivan to love him, to care for him, to piece back his shattered heart.

And he'll fall in love again, with a man named Ivan Braginsky, a man that would never hurt him. Because Alfred could never handle pain. He would crack at dislike, break at hate, and shatter into pieces with pain.

And one day, he'll realize that he is truly happy. Because what he wanted was with him the whole step of the way.

...00..00...

 **A.N:** Sorry if it was confusing. Basically, Ivan moves back into his hometown where he coincidentally lives next to Alfred and Arthur. Alfred is abused by Arthur who does this because Arthur's heart was broken by Francis. Arthur cannot think clearly, so he takes out the pain on Alfred, who stays because he believes that he can help Arthur. Alfred goes to Ivan for help when he gets hurt (Obviously he cannot go to Arthur). Eventually Alfred catches Arthur cheating on him with Francis and has his heart broken because he loved Arthur. However, he eventually heals as he falls in love with Ivan, who was he person he wanted and needed the whole time.


	2. Chapter 2

This is a gift for sasunaru13.

Summary: He's 25 when he realizes that he loves Ivan. But as he reminisces, he can't help but think that maybe he loved Ivan at first sight.

...00...00…

It was like any other night. They were on the couch, not really listening to the babble of the tv, but rather, soaking in the warmth of each other when it happens.

"I love you." Ivan mumbles as if he were shy and hesitant.

And Alfred freezes because the last time someone said they loved him was a very long time ago.

 _I know that we just met_

 _Maybe this is dumb_

 _But it feels like there was something_

 _From the moment that we touched_

 _'Cause, it's alright, it's alright_

 _I wanna make you mine_

"Hey I'm Alfred!"

"Alfryet?"

"No! Al-Fred!"

"Alfryet."

"Ah, just call me Fedya. If that helps."

"Fedya, I am Ivan!"

"Ivan, well I'll call you Vanya!" his hand are outstretched and he reaches for the boy. "Come on Vanya! Let's play!"

"Da!"

 _The way you're lightin' up the room_

 _Caught the corner of my eye_

 _We can both sneak out the back door_

 _We don't have to say goodbye_

 _'Cause, it's alright, it's alright_

 _To waste time tonight_

They're best friends before they knew it. Their bond was unbreakable and the adults often thought that they would eventually break away.

...00...00…

They were wrong.

...00...00…

"Shh."

"Ah, sorry."

It's exciting. The thrill of sneaking out from home just to see a movie.

Ivan held out his arms and urged the other boy to jump. "Come on, I will catch you!"

Alfred frowned. "You sure?"

The russian teen nodded. "Of course! I always do!"

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Oh, baby_

 _If this is what it's like falling in love_

 _Then I don't ever wanna grow up_

They return home giggling and feeling the dread of their parents' wrath.

"What were you thinking!"

"What have you done!?"

"How could you Ivan?"

"Alfred I'm so disappointed."

But somehow, it's okay. Because they were together and that just made everything better.

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Oh, baby_

Alfred slams the locker shut and strides over to the other locker that he memorized.

"Vanya~ guess what?"

Ivan hums with curiosity. "What?"

Alfred grins with happiness and laughs in victory. "I got my parents to allow you to sleep over this weekend!"

Ivan grins at the information. "Great! I will go home with you then."

Alfred nods enthusiastically. "Uhuh! This is great."

 _It'd be cool if it's the two of us_

 _But I don't ever wanna grow up_

 _'Cause I got it all_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

 _And I got it all_

They're sitting together in Ivan's room. There's a silence but it isn't awkward, rather it is comfy.

It's times like this where Ivan thinks deeply over what he has.

"Do you ever think you could have more?"

Alfred frowns. "What do ya mean?"

Ivan chews his bottom lip. "If you had the chance, would you have a different, a better life?"

Alfred snorted. "No! I like this. I got all I want in this life."

 _And I don't ever wanna grow up_

 _Said, your place is kinda close_

 _And your 'Rents are out of town_

 _Baby, there's no pressure_

 _But if you're down, I'm down_

 _'Cause, it's alright, it's alright_

 _To just talk tonight_

They're not far from each other. Their houses are across from each other's, so there's no pressure to travel very far. They just walk across the street.

So when Alfred's parents are away, it's too tempting to allow Ivan to stay over. So for the next two weeks, Alfred allows Ivan to sneak in and sleep in his house.

 _If you're feeling kinda crazy_

 _Turn down the lights_

 _We can take our time_

 _Do whatever you like_

 _It's alright, it's alright_

 _I wanna make you mine_

"Hey Ivan, have you ever kissed anyone?"

Ivan nods cluelessly. "My sisters!"

Alfred snorts. "Not like that. I meant on the lips."

"Oh. No." Ivan admits with a blush.

Embarrassed. Alfred mumbles. "Me neither."

Ivan fiddles with his sleeves. "Do you think- Um. Nevermind."

Alfred looks up curiously. "What?"

It takes a little persuading before Ivan mentions what he has in mind.

"I was thinking we could be each other's first kiss?"

The statement ends in a meek question, but in Alfred's 14 year old mind, it makes perfect sense. To him and Ivan, their first kiss is precious and they would rather it belong to someone they truly care for than for a random girl behind the bleachers.

So he agrees with a shy smile.

The kiss is sloppy and wet, their noses bump and Alfred's glasses come askew.

But for them, it's perfect.

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Oh, baby_

 _If this is what it's like falling in love_

 _Then I don't ever wanna grow up_

Alfred comes in with a tired sigh and flings himself upon Ivan's bed.

"Ugh, I don't wanna move!" He groans tiredly.

Ivan looks up worriedly. "Why, what happened?"

Alfred huffs with an angry face. "Mom grounded me." he growls with unhappiness as he mocks the woman. "Oh Alfred, you missed your homework!"

He sighs and turns to face Ivan. "Man adults, I don't ever want to grow up. Cause if I'm like that when I'm older, kill me!"

Ivan laughs.

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Maybe I'm just a kid in love_

 _Oh, baby_

 _It'd be fine if it's the two of us_

 _But I don't ever wanna grow up_

 _'Cause I got it all_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

 _And I got it all_

"Ivan, you're going to grow up one day, start acting your age."

What is I don't want to?

"Ivan, you will be an adult soon. Stop acting like a child!"

Why should I?

"Wake up from your dreams. This is the real world Ivan!"

I don't want to grow up. Not without Alfred.

 _And I don't ever wanna grow up_

 _You make me feel like I got it all, yeah_

 _And you make me feel_

 _Like I'm just a kid in love_

 _And you make me feel like I got it all_

 _And you make me feel like I don't ever wanna grow up_

"You're such a child Alfred! Why can't you ever grow up!"

Because if I grow up, I'll leave Ivan. I don't want to grow up, not if I will be alone.

 _Maybe we're just kids in love_

 _Maybe we're just kids in love_

 _Oh baby_

 _If this is what it's like falling in love_

 _Then we don't ever have to grow up_

 _Maybe we're just kids in love_

 _Maybe we're just kids in love_

 _Oh baby_

"I'm leaving. He won't let me stay."

 **He's making me grow up.**

"I know."

Are you an adult now?

"This is goodbye."

 **Goodbye to you, goodbye to my childhood**

"Can't you stay one more night?"

Can't you stay, for me?

"Okay."

 **Just one more night.**

 _When we're alone and it's the two of us_

 _I can't get enough_

 _I've got it all, yeah_

 _I've got it all, yeah_

 _And I've got it, and I've got it all_

 _And I've got it, and we've got it all_

 _And I've got it, and I've got it all_

"Promise me, promise that you'll come back."

Promise you'll come back to your childhood.

"I will."

 **You're my childhood, I'll never leave you. I'll never grow up.**

 _But I don't ever wanna grow up_

"I love you." Ivan mumbles as if he were shy and hesitant.

And Alfred freezes because the last time someone said they loved him was a very long time ago.

It was also a very long time ago since he had last said he loved anyone. Maybe it's time, he said that again.

"I love you too."

Ivan beams.

...00...00…

Song: Kid in Love by Shawn Mendes

If you don't understand then I could explain. Unknowingly, Ivan and Alfred have been in love since they were children. So what they valued most was each other during their childhood. They feared that if they grow up, they would drift apart, thus when Ivan was forced to leave by his father, he made a promise that he would come back and to himself, he promised that he would never grow up.


End file.
